Times change

I miss the old days when he was home. I'm having a hard time being alone again. My memories of us being best friends keep coming back.

I find it hard...........

It's not easy doing this blog thing. I have so much to say, but can't find the time to do it!

Saw my son and his girlfriend last weekend. It was nice. It's been a long time since I've seen him and I really miss him. I know he has his own life now, but I miss taking care of him. I fear it's all I know how to do. For so many years all I did was watch over him. He became more than my son - he became my best friend. I thought I could figure out how to cope with him moving away, but it's not been easy. I know what I have to do. I have to move on with my life. Now all I have to do is do it!

So how does one go about finding a girlfriend? I've tried, kinda, but can't get the hang of it. Every girl I see thats around my age, reminds me of my mother! And when I look at younger women, I feel like a pervert! Don't get me wrong - I'm not talking about really younger girls, just girls around 10 or 15 years younger than me. Am I wrong to want a good looking lady, who looks nice in a tight pair of jeans? On those dating sights, all I get looking at me or messaging me are overweight, older ladies. Does than mean I'm ugly? I would assume that if only those type of ladies find me attractive, then I must be on the 'homely' side. Is that a fair assumption? And why do I feel bad wanting a pretty lady? So many questions and so few answers

I'm going to bed.

Back to work!

After a week of time off, it was kinda refreshing to get back to work. I just started this job a couple months ago and I actually do like it. I guess I'm made to work for a living. Maybe it's that I don't have anyone to come home to anymore............ I used to be a clock watcher. But now I leave work whenever I want to.


You know what? I can't seem to get the hang of this! I'm afraid to put my thoughts out there! What if someone I know reads it! I keep writing garbage just to write something.

The new room.

Spent the last two days painting my new room. It's not actually a new room......... just remodeled. What a pain! Try painting a 16' wall and ceiling! Up and down that dang latter at least 100 times! Two coats of paint, do the edging twice so far. Now to let it dry and then make a nice straight line between the ceiling and walls so it looks a bit better. It would have been a whole lot easier if I'd have just painted the ceiling and walls the same color! But I don't think it would have looked as good as it does with a off-white ceiling and gray orchid walls.

And since I don't have money for more, for the time being this is all the room will get! Have to wait until I can afford to do the floor and doors and trim. But no big deal. I'm all alone in this big house. No one ever comes over anyway.

Which makes me wonder why am I doing all this work to this big house? If I was smart I'd get rid of this place and get myself something smaller. How many of you out there in virtual land would keep a 5 bedroom house with almost 3000 square feet if it was just you and 2 cats?

The start

I'm sitting here watching 'You've got mail'. Remember that one? Meg Ryan, the girl next door type. The kind of girl you wished you could meet in real life. Then you would marry her and live happily ever after. And then Tom Hanks..... the perfect leading man who you also wish you were like. Then you definitely would get the girl and live happily ever after. Ah, the movies! Almost like the internet. You can be anyone in here, can't you? I think they did a country song about that didn't they?

So who am I? Just a guy trying to make it in life. Someone who likes to dream about the 'what if' life he could have had. I probably think too much about stuff that bugs me. Like my kids! I love them, but don't know how to act around them! So maybe I'll share some thoughts about them. Perhaps I'll even get some good advice.

And I'll tell you all about my job! It's kinds like that comic strip Dilbert. Really! It is! I'm probably one of the only people who actually like his job.......... kinda.

So, lets see what happens from here. If nothing else I will be pulling my thoughts out of my head and onto this screen.